curiosity killed the cat
by redcat512
Summary: Shane-centric character study. Language warning. One-sided Shane/Liam, Liam/Karma, Amy/Karma.


Amy asked him once, back when she was still pretending to herself that she was over Karma, but failing somewhat in the illusion by refusing to talk about anything that wasn't at least tangentially related to her.

"You're best friends," she accused, "and you're gay. Haven't you ever…?" She made wide eyes at him and flailed her hands in a way that was meant to indicate something. Probably something sexual. She never is good with talking about things her mother would disapprove of, try-hard rebel though she tries to be.

"Please," Shane had scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Liam's so straight it hurts. And _so_ not my type."

She'd squinted at him. "Really? Tall, dark and artistic isn't your type?"

Shane had taken away her strawberry flavoured cocktail for that, and chugged the rest of it down to outraged cries.

So maybe the only type of his that Liam _isn't_ is the straight part. Liam is so very straight, though, that it bears listing twice.

* * *

The truth is, he'd had a crush the size of Atlantis on Liam once upon a time.

He's been to the same place as Amy, and he knows it hurts like hell.

He also knows now that it's fucking stupid and pointless and it's best to drink and fuck the pain away into numbness.

He, like Amy, has been telling himself for years now that he's completely over it. He's hoping that if he says it enough it's going to be true eventually.

Mind over matter. That's all it is. If he doesn't mind, it won't matter.

* * *

Liam's kind of a dick. Always has been, always will be. It's kind of why Shane's gaga for him. (_Used_ to be. Used to be gaga for him.) A bad boy with a heart of gold has always been his kryptonite.

It's been a good thing, though, before #Karmy, because Liam's dickishness kept girls away from his heart, even if it didn't keep them away from his actual dick. Shane was okay with that. They can have the sex if he gets to keep the actual conversations and evenings spent watching shitty movies and playing gay chicken because it's too delicious to make Liam lose at anything not to (and lose he does – he doesn't even try, just throws his hands up in surrender and groans _foul_).

* * *

It's a good thing that Amy's his friend, because that gives Shane a reason to resent Karma. _She lied to both of my best friends_ is a hell of a better reason than _she's fucking my best friend and I'm a territorial hypocrite._

He is very good at being supportive best friend when Karma and Liam are fighting, though. Even though sometimes he tastes sour bile in the back of his throat and it has nothing to do with whatever disgusting liquid he's conned Liam into trying with him.

Today it's absinthe. The legal kind, sadly, but what can you do?

Liam, who's hated the taste of aniseed since he vomited liquorice back in sixth grade, isn't even complaining though, which speaks volumes of how upset he is.

"I don't even get it," Liam says as Shane tunes back in, "she's had plenty of opportunities to pick her instead. It would have been the easier choice. Everyone already thought they were together, and her parents – I mean, they like me fine, but Amy's already like a daughter to them."

Shane pats him on the shoulder and takes another drink. It's awful, but he needs to be drunk as fuck to deal with Karma angst.

"I'd almost prefer they _were_ just sleeping together," Liam broods. "It would be a hell of a lot easier than whatever this is meant to be."

"Well, think of it this way," Shane adds brightly. "If Karma ever decides to go for girls, you three can just finish off that threesome."

Liam shoots him a dirty look.

"What? Amy said she's not completely against dick."

Liam flinches.

Shane rolls his eyes and wonders then this became his life.

* * *

He and Lauren are colour shopping. Well. Not together or anything, because that might imply they're friends, or something, but they're in the same store, and sometimes they compare notes.

"Ooh, this one's cute." Lauren holds up a shirt to herself.

Shane's brow furrows in concentration. "It's okay, I suppose," he accedes casually. "Not completely hideous, anyway."

Lauren smirks and adds it to her _maybe_ pile.

"_So_," she starts off in that tone that promises trouble, "what's happening with those star-cursed idiots? There's been a lot of door slamming by the evil stepsister lately."

Shane snorts. "Like I'd betray their trust to tell you."

She gives him a pitying look. "Gay scout's honour, huh? You know, I checked, you were never a scout."

Shane shrugs, unperturbed and goes back to looking at skirts. "Amy and Liam are my friends. Last time I checked? You and I? Are not friends."

Lauren raises a delicate shoulder in a shrug. "I guess not. I'm just surprised they spilled the beans in the end, that's all."

Shane manages not to get whiplash from how quickly he turns back to her. "And which beans would that be?"

Lauren's distractedly weighing up two camisoles, both in soft shades of pink. "You know. _Those_ beans."

Her concentration sharpens and she looks back at him, where he doesn't have time to school his confused expression.

"_Oh_," she breathes, eyes narrowing, head tilted thoughtfully.

* * *

For years he's been harbouring the secret hope that Liam's going to open his eyes one day and realise he's into guys.

It hasn't happened, and Shane doesn't think it ever will, but a boy can dream, right?

* * *

Liam and Karma are fighting. Again.

It's about Amy. Again.

"I don't understand why you hate her so much." Karma hisses.

"I don't hate her!" Liam shoots right back, voice low. "That is so not a thing. She's… fine. She's perfectly fine."

"Then why are you two always so weird around each other? She, fine, I get, but you _got_ me, what do you have to be petty and jealous about?"

Shane rolls his eyes and tries to focus on eating his fries, because he gets too much Karma/Liam angst in his life already. There's a reason that Karma rhymes with drama.

* * *

The break up over Christmas.

Shane's horrified to find that it catches him by surprise. They've been rocky for weeks, but he hadn't foreseen it going this far.

"What the hell happened?" He snags Liam's arm on the way to English and tries to keep his voice down. No need for the masses to know that he's had to find out about his best friend's break-up from _Lauren's cronies_ of all people. That's almost as bad as if he heard it on the five o'clock news.

Liam looks up at him with red rimmed eyes. "What do you think? Amy happened. As usual."

Shane frowns. Liam doesn't sound mad. Just resigned. There's nothing accusatory in the way he said Amy's name. Which isn't that weird, because they might have a strange relationship, but they don't usually progress to hating each other. Any feelings they have about the other are usually channeled through Karma.

* * *

Liam needs to drink his sorrows away.

Liam claims not to want to go out.

Shane drags him out anyway.

"I told Karma about us." Liam finally yells in his ear over the pounding music while all around them, people are rubbing up against each other in a way that passes for dancing.

There's a second where Shane flinches and misunderstands.

"Amy didn't want to," Liam continues, "but it's not just her secret, is it? I tried not to, because it's also not just mine, but I couldn't do it. That's the risk Amy took. That's the risk _I_ took. No more lies."

Shane turns towards Liam and nearly spills the drink in Liam's hand. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Liam blinks. "You know. Amy's mom's wedding."

"No," Shane drawls slowly "I don't know. I thought that was when all the secrets came spilling out."

Liam's eyes drop to the side. "We made a mistake. We were both angry at Karma. At how she lied to us. And I guess that gave us something in common. For one night, anyway."

Shane stares at him and doesn't know what to say. "You fucked."

Liam winces.

"Well, I guess that's fair enough." Shane muses, finding himself in the weird position of almost being on Karma's side. "She dumped you for sleeping with her best friend. Even though you were kind of broken up at the time, I can see it. Nothing much to do about it. Maybe she'll forgive you. Maybe she won't. Ball's in her court now."

"She didn't." Liam interrupts. "She didn't break up with me. I broke up with her."

Shane's pretty sure the loud music has damaged his ears, because he's not sure he heard that right. "You what?"

"Karma slept with Amy. Too, I mean. She admitted to it."

Shane wonders what was in his drink, because this can't be reality. Also, maybe it's not Karma that has the cocaine lips, but Amy. It would probably explain a lot. "So you dumped her because she… did the exact same thing you did? Hypocrisy, much?"

"No!" Liam protests. "I mean, that's how she saw it too, but that's not why! I just – Look, they're practically married. I don't- I can't be the person to break them up. I never wanted to, not from the start. I don't want to be that guy. I fooled myself, thinking it was okay because they weren't really together, but-" he breaks off and looks down.

Shane's mouth curls into a bitter smile. "You're playing the martyr. You fucking sap."

Liam looks up at him, resigned and devastated.

* * *

They'll get back together next week, Shane predicts. He knows Karma better now than he did when he first assumed about her and Amy, and she's the straightest straight girl he's ever met. She makes Liam seem bendy. Even if she has some sort of weird undefinable thing for Amy, she's also gaga for Liam, and she's not going to let him go just like that.

Nonetheless, he indulges Liam's self-pity, and even buys him a few drinks, because that's what friends are for.

Friends are also for dragging their wasted friends home, because there's a point when Liam gets a bit too wasted to be able to tell the difference between making friendly conversation and whining his life story out to strangers. Liam will thank him for saving him from next day headlines of _Squirkle Heir Tells All._

Shane must not have cut Liam off soon enough, because by the time they get to Shane's place (like he's going to inflict Liam's family on him in that state), Liam's completely trashed.

"It's okay," Liam slurs, "it's okay. Plenty of sea."

Shane's not sure who he's trying to convince. "Up the stairs we go." He points Liam in the right direction.

"Thanks, man. Good friend. _Goooooood_ friend." Liam tries what looks like a pat on the shoulder and completely misses.

"I am the _best_ friend," Shane agrees, "and you'd do well to remember that in the morning."

"Yessir." Liam tries a mock salute and somehow doesn't smack himself in the face too badly.

"Shane?" He asks when Shane's pushed him into his own bed and has forced a glass of water into his hands.

"Mhm?"

"Why do they get a happily ever after? Why not me?" Liam asks, and he's still slurring, but he also sounds hurt and fragile.

The corner of Shane's mouth lifts bitterly. "Because they had the luck – or perhaps misfortune – to fall for their best friend."

Liam looks up at him blinkingly, and for a second Shane's blood runs cold because maybe this is when Liam finally sees through everything.

"Why have we never…?" Liam starts to ask, sounding distant and divorced from reality.

Shane clamps down on the sharp wrench of hurt before it can grow and snorts instead. "Hasn't your dick ruined enough friendships?"

It probably came out more scathingly than he meant it, and Liam flinches like he's been slapped.

Shane sighs. "Drink you water, you asshole."

Liam obediently drinks and then promptly passes out as soon as Shane's gently pried the glass from his hands.

* * *

It's never mentioned again.

There's some part of Shane that wants to go back into the past, and punch past-Shane in the face. What the hell kind of idiot loser turns down the hottest guy in school? Even if it was just once.

That idiot part of him, though, reminds him that Liam was completely wasted, that he was on the rebound, that he might have forgiven Shane for taking advantage, because he's a fucking softie like that, but Shane wouldn't have forgiven himself.

It's made both worse and better when Karma and Liam get back together within a fortnight. Shane can't even be bothered to congratulate himself on being right, because he can see the haunted look in Amy's eyes, can tell it's probably reflected in his own.

"Hey," he greets Amy, who manages something that might be related to a smile (by marriage and twice removed),"I heard Lauren messed up a fake tan."

Amy's eyes brighten, and if there's a bit of a knowing look in her eyes, that's okay, Shane thinks. Birds of a feather should stick together. "That must be why she's been hiding all morning. We should definitely go find her."

"Atta girl." Shane grins.

It's only high school, he reminds himself. They'll be out of here soon, and these will just be stories to tell.


End file.
